It’s Christmas Eve and I am in Colorado. For anyone who has never been in Colorado for Christmas, it is pretty magical. There is snow on the ground and your breath floats through the air like wisp of smoke. It only takes a moment being outside before your nose starts to turn a cherry pink and your ears turn to icicles and you immediately start thinking of going back inside to snuggle somebody nice. Fortunately for me, my mom’s car has bum warmers.
I took said car to the mall a few days ago to finish some last minute Christmas shopping. I meandered through the crowds and browsed store after store in search of a gift for my mother. Now, I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but somehow it seems that anytime I go out Christmas shopping I always end up trying on clothes for myself. Does this happen to anyone else? No? Well, it happens to me and that is how I found myself wandering around the New York & Co with an armful of sweaters. (Christmas in Colorado will also make you want to buy lots of sweaters).
I browsed the sale racks and went from the front of the store to the back until I felt I was approaching that very annoying dressing room “item limit” and then walked over to the fitting room for the moment of truth. When I arrived I asked the attendant for a room and she turned, grabbed her keys, quickly unlocked the door and then looked at me and said, “Good Luck.”
I went inside, closed the door and thought to myself, “Good Luck? What a peculiar thing to wish someone who is about to try on clothes…” I’m sure this woman didn’t really give it a second thought when she said it and she wasn’t being condescending or rude. I’m sure she was just trying to take care of one of hundreds of customers she would see that day. But after my initial minor offense I started thinking that maybe that is how I should start thinking of trying on clothes.
Trying on clothes can be a mildly traumatic experience for someone who is overweight. It often feels like nothing fits right even though you chose the size you always wear and “Dear Lord, Please let this extra large sized button down fit over my hips.” There are only so many ill fitting garments one can try on before the initial hope turns into despair. But what if, instead of blaming myself for not fitting into that pair of pants, I let luck have a little more to do with it.
The fact is that a size 16 at one store is often different than a size 16 at another. One store’s large is another store’s extra-large is another store’s medium (and that store is called Old Navy and oh, how we love Old Navy). The failing of my body to fit into or look good in the garment I hoped it would is not something that rests solely on me and my body. There are plenty of other factors that I have no control over and I should recognize that before chastising myself on every single one of my choices. Perhaps, I just needed a little luck.
Side note: I was terribly unlucky that day in New York & Co. but really what could I hope for when I was supposed to be buying presents for other people? It’s bad luck to even think about it!