“Hanger” Management

It’s official. I have “hanger” issues.

“Hanger” is the condition where your blood sugar crashes and you turn into a despicable creature hell-bent on ruining everyone’s life until they feed you. It derives from the combination of “hunger” and “anger” = “hanger.” In the last two weeks I have gone from a generally nice person to a hanger-crazed fear monger.

I’ve always struggled with sugar crashes. My whole family gets them, so when I was growing up picking a restaurant frequently became a blood-bath. Hanger runs deep in my veins and I did not properly adjust for it this week, leaving Ashley with a very unpleasant roommate.

The first time it happened, we were in Palm Springs for our second photo shoot. She wanted to wait until we got home to eat dinner, because it was only 5:30 and if she ate now she would be hungry later without calories to spare (perfectly sensible). I wanted to eat now, screw calories, and consume everything in Palm Springs. Since I was driving, I ignored her wishes and drove us straight to the Cheesecake Factory.

The second time it happened, I snapped at her because she wanted to wait for her boyfriend to join us for dinner and I wanted to eat “immediately.” Then I thought I was going to die when he finally arrived and we talked for ten minutes instead of eating.

And then the third time…

This week Ashley and I decided to do some spring cleaning before we went back to work. We swept, mopped, and Swiffer-ed every surface of our linoleum-covered apartment.  We scrubbed and organized our place clean for eight hours, but by 3:30 we hadn’t eaten lunch yet…

At 3:30 I was mopping. Ash had been in charge of sweeping before I followed her with the mop, but when I came into her room to mop it, I saw a section of the floor was still dirty.

“Did you sweep this?” I said.

She said she did.

“It’s still filthy,” I said.

She walked over to see what I was talking about. Nonchalantly she swept her fuzzy-sock clad foot across the floor to pick up the lint and hair. I looked at her in mild horror.

“What are you doing?” I said.

“What? I do this all the time,” she said.

She proceeded to take her sock off of her foot (the sock now covered in lint, hair, and dirt) and get on her knees to finish wiping the floor with it. When she finished her sock-sweeping she looked up at me. I glared down at her. There was still hair. There was still lint.

“I can’t mop this. It’ll muck up the mop,” I said.

“It’s clean,” she said.

“No it’s not. I can’t mop it like this.”

“Then I’ll mop it.”

“No. You’ll muck up the mop!”

She wiped her sock across the floor again. I went to fetch the broom, grabbed it, walked back in, and threw the broom at her saying, “I can’t deal with this. Clean it right or I’m not mopping it,” and stormed out.

Then I went to the fridge, grabbed a giant Honeycrisp apple, and sat down to sulk on the couch. All the while I chanted to myself, “I am not apologizing. She has to do it right. I am right. She’s stupid,” in my head. But as the sugar of the delicious Honeyscrip made its way into my blood stream, my hanger subsided and transformed into shame. I apologized immediately. I am still ashamed. Hanger makes you throw brooms at your best friend. Hanger must be managed.

Now I have placed myself under serious hanger management. Here are my new guidelines:

The Rules of Hanger Management 

  1. Eat a good breakfast that has a chance of sustaining you more than thirty minutes.
  2. Eat when you’re hungry, as soon as you feel hungry. As far as it is in your power, eat before hunger over takes you. The hungrier you feel, the more you’ll eat. Eat smaller sooner and that will empower you to make good eating choices now and later.
  3. Eat things that actually feel like you’re eating things and has substance like roast green beans or a banana–as opposed to, you know, celery.
  4. If you are one who gets distracted by projects and forgets to eat, make yourself food ahead of time to have at the ready. Place it near you so you don’t have to get up and make something. Keep on top of your eating while you work or when you finish your project you will be insatiable.

That’s it! Simple. Eat smaller sooner. We can do it!

This Weeks Facts: Weight: 211.5lbs How do you feel?: Worried. I lost a pound this week, but I’m always amazed at how much work it takes to lose a pound when it takes seconds to gain one. It’s so much work: making menus, exercising, and counting calories. I’m already exhausted. HOWEVER, I do feel much, much better. I can feel my waist shrinking, I have more energy, and I am feeling hopeful that this might work. I think Ashley’s really on to something with the whole not weighing yourself plan. I feel great until I step on the scale.   Small Victory: So many! I worked out a ton. I ate 1,500-2,000 Calories a day. I did really well. I am very proud of myself this week. Biggest Disappointment: My shins have continued to be a pain. I need to start icing them, but it’s so discouraging to make it out the door and then have to stop a workout because of an injury.  Thing I appreciated about my body this week:  My waist seems to be the first thing to slim down, which immediately makes me feel smaller–simply by ratio of the hour glass. Other notes: Thank heavens for Blogilates. Cassey really makes you feel like you might actually be able to do this thing.

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