Through Your Eyes

Being tagged in a picture on Facebook is one of the most terrifying moments in modern privileged society. A notification pops up: “so-and-so has tagged you in eight photos.” “Dear, God” you say, “please let me look good in one of them.” Inevitably, you never feel like you do. Being tagged in FB pictures rarely…

Inspiration

Well, today I find I am struggling with a bit of writer’s block. This is my thirteenth entry and I am struggling to finding something new to say on this same topic. I’m still just over here plugging away and right now I am finding this journey to be a bit monotonous. It’s the same…

Confidence Is The Best…Whatever

We’ve all heard it. Confidence is the best make up. Confidence is the best outfit. Confidence is sexy. Confidence is attractive. Confidence is bullshit. I was in middle school the first time people attempted to convince me that the only thing I needed to be beautiful was confidence. People would point to overweight women who were flirting…

Your One Beauty

Growing up I was a huge fan of the 1994 film version of Little Women. I mean I LOVED it. I wanted to be Jo, and I wanted to wear all the dresses with the hoop skirts. I wanted to go to balls, and have three sisters, and I definitely wanted Laurie to propose to…

My Twenty-Four Hour Chip

In in some sections of Alcoholics Anonymous, members are given “sobriety chips” to commemorate their time periods of being sober. Talismans and symbols have been important in journeys throughout history and literature. “The One Ring” in The Lord of the Rings, Sam’s lucky bottle cap on Cheers, Harry Potter’s scar, Luke’s Lightsabor, Annie’s half of a locket,  William…

New York State of Mind

  The autumn after I graduated from college I moved from California to New York. I had studied theatre in school, one of my best friends already lived out there…it just seemed like the thing to do. Of course, once I was actually there, things did not go as I had planned. My friends and…

One Last Hope

“So you wanna be a skinny babe….well Woop-de-do.” “you run round and round the block, until you feel that just won’t do.”  Have you been in this situation? You’re longings to be “thin” may as well have been the very scene in Disney’s, “Hercules” where the young hero enlist the help of Philoctetes, The Trainer…

The Invisibility Cloak

The first and only time a boy asked me to a dance, I was his last resort. I was a freshman in high school and had never been to a dance. I was excited, waiting to see who might ask me–no one did. About a week before the dance, my friend Ted called me to lament…

Am I Skinny Yet?

I must share this moment of personal victory: I have faithfully exercised 5 days a week and maintained my calories for the last 4 weeks. It has been incredibly difficult, particularly the exercise. I find it much easier to cut out food choices and make better decisions than to exercise. There have been days I…

Off the Wagon

“Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it.” -Anne of Green Gables In the last two weeks, I have fallen completely off the wagon. Ashley, I will have you know, is doing extraordinarily well. She has exercised every day. She has counted her calories and remained in her limits. She is amazing. Truly,…

Secrets Don’t Make Friends

Can I tell you a secret? I have a lot of secrets. Yep. That’s the secret. I present myself as an open book to most people and I have no problem discussing things that might make your average person uncomfortable. Chalk it up to extensive therapy and acting training (which are indistinguishable at times). It…