“One of my New Year’s resolutions is to say “yes!” Yes to love, yes to life, yes to staying in more!” –Liz Lemon
One of the most important lessons I have learned in my life is the importance of saying “yes.” It is one of the main reasons I firmly believe all people should be required to take an improvisation class. The first thing you learn in an improv class is that your reaction to anything that may happen in the scene is “yes, and.” You cannot deny anything that is happening in the scene, you have to go with it and add to it and see what happens.
Saying yes and seeing what happens has led me to some amazing experiences. I said yes to moving to California for college. I said yes to changing colleges (twice) when I knew I wasn’t in the right place. I said yes to New York City and all its wonders, and I said yes to joining this silly sort of online dating site called Grouper, which led me to be able to say my most favorite yes so far when my boyfriend, Glenn, proposed to me last weekend!
So now I am engaged (WHAT?!) and I can’t help but think back on our relationship and how we came together. I met Glenn when I was 26. We met on a Grouper, which is, essentially, a triple blind date; it was Glenn and his two friends with my two friends and me. They sent us to a bar on a Thursday night and we all stayed there for four hours, yelling to each other over the loud music. We all had a great time, but no phone numbers, or even last names, were exchanged. Immediate regret about that set in as soon as we left. Fortunately, one of the friends who had come with me was basically a pro at finding people on the internet as she had to do that for work and she had provided me with Glenn’s email address by the time I arrived home that night. I waited a couple days to see if Glenn would find me online, but when Sunday night rolled around I decided to email him a quick note and include my phone number.
Glenn did not return my email or call or text me the next day. All I could think all day was, “Aw man, I really didn’t think I read that situation wrong. We all hung out for 4 hours! He seemed interested!” This was a very familiar feeling for me, as I had actually never dated anyone before. I had gone on two dates with people I met on OkCupid (both terrible!) and that was the extent of my dating history. I had never kissed anyone before, I had never even held someone’s hand. I immediately let all those familiar negative thoughts rush to me as I obsessively checked my phone. “Of course he wasn’t interested in you, no one ever is.” “He is way too handsome for you.” (Side note: Glenn is so. Damn. Handsome.) “Why do you even continue trying to online date?” I thought all these things on repeat until Tuesday…when he texted me.
He asked me out for that Saturday (even though he lived just over an hour away from me) and from then on I saw him every single weekend. He planned beautiful, thoughtful dates for us. He was so patient and took time to get to know me. He has taught me so much about how to love someone well. I could not be more excited to say yes to life with him every day.
I think it is a miracle anytime two people come together. There are so many factors working against them, so many chances that they may never have met. But part of the miracle is your own mindset. You have to be willing to say Yes…and see what happens.