Well…It has been a week and a half since I joined Weight Watchers, and I have done very well. I have been dedicated, stayed within my points, and lost two pounds. It’s going splendidly, but it has greatly exemplified something I was well aware of–I love food. I don’t just — “maybe go to dinner and a movie”– love food. I — “want to tear its clothes off and make babies with it” — love food. I love food with my whole heart. I provide these two examples of proof:
First, on Friday my mother, sister, and I went to the Long Beach Art Museum to have lunch and gander at some modern art. I made excellent food choices. I ordered a turkey sandwich, but when it came I didn’t feel like the bread tasted good enough to warrant the calories, so I took apart my sandwich, put the toppings on my side salad, and called it a day. It was delicious and incredibly low in calories. But then, as it must to us all, hunger came. About two hours later I was hungry. Six hours later I was incredibly hungry. Then finally my family and I were on our way to dinner at a local dinner called Hot and Tot, which is your typical mom and pop greasy spoon. I looked down at my points counter and it said I had 22 points left for the day. Sneakily, I popped over to see how many points steak fries and ranch were–I had enough points! And then some! Then I typed in “sirloin steak” and it was also within my points range! So I, myself, ordered steak with French Fries and I was over the moon. I happy danced before dinner. I happy danced during dinner. I couldn’t stop talking about it. I talked about it the whole next day. It was the best date I’ve ever had–me, the fries, the ranch, and the steak. It was beautiful and wonderful. I was full for the first time in days. I was completely satisfied. I was happy.
Second, this Sunday was Easter. At Easter, my mom goes all out and makes these AMAZING potatoes called “Molly’s Marvelous Potatoes.” We do not know why they are called that as the legend has it that the recipe was passed down to us by my Aunt Polly, but they are delicious. They are insanely good as, well, they have a pound of sour cream, a can of cream of mushroom soup, a stick of butter, hash-browns, and mounds of cheddar cheese. They are my favorite part of Easter lunch. BUT I did very well. I saved my points so that I could use them all on the potatoes and the lemon meringue pie my mom made for dessert. It was beautiful, delicious, and once again I remained within my points. But that night, after I had finished eating, I replayed the meal over and over again in my head like it was the perfect first kiss. I couldn’t get it off my mind–“And then I sliced the ham, I sliced it with the fat, and I ate it. Oh I ate that fat.” It was like a bad porno: Porking–pleasure with overly processed meats.
But all this got me thinking, that although I love food with all of my heart, I think I need a divorce. I have to stop thinking of food as “my greatest pleasure” or “my greatest love.” Yes, food is delicious, but it does not fulfill me–it just fills me. Those fries were tasty, but they got flushed a few hours later. Food is fleeting. Those meals, however, will stay with me for a long time. The first meal was a dinner I spent laughing with my family after my dad had had a rough week and we were able to cheer him up. The second was the last Easter lunch I’m going to get to spend with my Ashley before she gets married, and the first I got to spend with her future husband. Those are the things that matter. Did the food add to the enjoyment of the time? Absolutely. But I need to learn to see each meal for its lasting characteristics beyond its calories and live in the moment. Life is more than macaroni and cheese. I need to start thinking a little bigger.
Weight: 205lbs How do you feel?: Excited. I am accomplishing small things and learning a lot. Small Victory: I stayed in my points every day Biggest Disappointment: I ate more pralined nuts at Easter lunch than I intended, but I included them in my point count, so I’m okay–but still, where’s the will power! Thing I appreciated about my body this week: I am thankful for my tastebuds that let me taste good food Reason I am #embraceablenow: I have hair for days. It is curly and powerful.