It has been about four months since we began this project. At this point I feel like there is not a lot that is new. I know what it takes to lose the weight. I understand which foods are good for me and which are bad. I have learned enough about the general calorie amounts of various foods to be able to safely estimate foods in restaurants. I know how to exercise. It is not that these things are no longer difficult, because they are, but I now know what to expect which can make it seem easier. I am no longer in the beginning transition stage; I am in deep. This is creating a new woe however…
I am so very bored of doing this.
It is no longer a new challenge to see if I can do it. I know I can do it. I am tired of eating the foods I am eating and I truly miss what a simple joy eating used to be. I really liked it when I could just feel hungry and then eat and then not worry about how if I ate now I wouldn’t have enough calories left to eat dinner with my friends. I am over counting calories. Eating used to be such a pleasurable time and now it is a struggle. I feel like many of the aspects of this challenge that made it “fun” (I use that word very loosely here) are now gone and it just feels like this could be an endless stretch of forever.
That is how I felt when I was first doing the workout video I posted about a few weeks ago and Daniel said, “This is about picking your fitness up for the next 8-12 weeks…and then for the rest of your life.” I started laughing out loud when he said that because somehow it hadn’t really occurred to me that this was a habit I was going to have to try to implement forever. That still seems overwhelming to me!
Of course, I know that I wont be trying to lose weight forever. Eventually I won’t have to restrict my calories so much and certainly some of that simple joy of mealtimes will return. It is just that right now that feels so far away. But I suppose I had imagined it might take me a year to get to a “goal weight” if I was really dedicated and at 4 months I am technically a third of the way through.
Thinking of it that way does make it seem a bit more bearable…that is how I think of my work outs while I do them! Once I finish the first circuit I think , “alright, I am 1/3rd of the way done. and I like the 2nd circuit the best and then the third circuit is the last one!” So I guess I am going to hold out hope that I will start to like these next four months the best and then I will only have four months left!
I guess I am off to eat some (more) roasted vegetables.