Our bodies are amazing. I mean, they were legitimately created to be the most incredible working machine. Of course, when you are trying to lose weight this is the most frustrating thing. Our bodies are simply too good at what they do, and while I will occasionally (regularly) slack off on things, my body never will. Right now I feel that my body and I are, at best, frenemies.
Our bodies use everything we put in them with utmost efficiency. Nothing is wasted. Unfortunately, that means when you start putting less and less in your body it just gets better and better at using it so that when you accidentally slip and eat WAAAAAAY more chips and guacamole than you intended your body thinks, “Whoa, better hold on to this extra fat/calories/sugar/etc! Don’t know when we will get them again!” When you are fighting so hard to get your body to let go of anything “extra” this can feel remarkably defeating.
I wish I could somehow clue my body in to the fact that I am not a cave woman. I am very lucky and incredibly privileged to, at this point in my life, know that I don’t have to worry about not having a next meal. But my body doesn’t know that, my body thinks this meal could be my last so it had better hold on. It is just waiting for me to eat an extra bite.
The reality is that it is amazing and essential that our bodies work this way, otherwise we, as a species, wouldn’t have survived. And of course, even now, there are many, many people in the world who are not guaranteed a next meal. There are people for whom this bodily efficiency is vital and, really, complaining about it is a bit of a “Champagne problem.” But I can only speak to my experience in life, and on the weight loss journey, this is the bump in the road that is holding me up. It just feels like there is no room for error, there is no space for a mistake or a hiccup. But I am excellent at mistakes and hiccups and I am becoming much better at allowing myself to have them as it turns out I am only a regular human like everyone else. Sometimes I will not be able to resist the sweet siren song of a brownie. (It is possible brownies have the sweetest siren song…but cheese is a close runner up.)
So now, while my mind will allow these small setbacks, I feel like my body will not. My body seems to immediately yell, “Ha! Caught ya! I will keep that here on your hips!” There seems to be no way to get around this, so I am going to just try to reconcile as best I can. But we are definitely frenemies, my body and I. I have some hope for our future.