Today, I shall write about my victory.
I feel like I have written a lot about how much this whole journey has been difficult and how much I hate it and how I hate to exercise. I’ve written about boredom and missing the carefree eating ways of my past. All of these things are still true and present in my life, but for today I am going to celebrate the reason why I continue to do my best to try and stick to it!
As of now I have lost 25 pounds since January. In the grand scheme of how many pounds I really need to lose to be in a healthy range (around 60), it can feel quite small. Less than half. But losing 25 pounds is also something I never believed I would be capable of doing. When we started this project I believed I would give it a good shot, it would prove not to work and then I would go back to my old ways. In my whole life I had never lost more than 15 pounds (and that was when I was super faithful to Jenny Craig for EIGHT MONTHS in high school). I really believed that my body sort of refused to lose weight. I must admit, I do feel pretty good. and pretty proud.
I can finally (FINALLY!) see some visible results! Even if they are slight, they are present! Confession: I have taken to constantly trying on all my dresses and basking in the glory that all of them are too big, even the ones that used to be a struggle to zip. In fact, all my clothes are too big! They are all drape-y and loose and look terrible on me now, but I don’t care. I am so proud of my drape-y clothes. However I did go buy some jeans because I couldn’t handle constantly having to pull up my old ones. One of the pairs was TWO sizes smaller than my original size (okay…they are stretchy jeans and that is the only reason I got away with that, but still…).
Even though I have so long to go I sometimes feel downright skinny now. I look at my collar bones and missing back fat, and I feel good. I feel good that I can go for a seven mile hike now without feeling like I am gonna die. I can jog for about two miles straight. Most days I do eventually motivate myself to do some sort of exercise, and I am proud of that.
You know how every time you read a weight loss story they always say, “If I can do it, anyone can.” I always used to read that and think, “No. I can’t. That person obviously doesn’t have a body that likes to hold on to weight like a precious jewel or a deeply rooted love of cheese and candy and bacon.” I never felt that I would be able to do it. In fact, even now, I am still surprised daily that I am doing it. I am baffled at my motivation and the progress that I am making. So much so that I really and truly feel that I can say this and no matter who you are it will really and truly be true this time, ” If I can do it, you can definitely do it too.”
I believe in you.