I have neglected this blog. I have abandoned this project. I am ready to begin again. Over the course of the last month post-Ashley wedding, I developed a foot injury that stopped me for running. I also gained a passion for toffee that could not be quenched. I have miraculously managed not to gain back everything I have lost, but I feel in many ways as if I am back at the startling line except in one area — confidence. Although I still waver in a crowded room or a place with new people, in general, I feel 100% better about myself than I did in January.
Last week Ashley’s wedding photos came out. I was nervous about them. I thought that I would feel huge (despite the fact that I felt very beautiful the day of), but as I looked through the pages of Ashley’s photos all I felt was joy — joy to have participated in the day and glad that it was so thoroughly documented. I also felt pretty. I look heavy, don’t get me wrong — the three arm curls a day I did the week before the wedding did not have the miraculous result I had intended — but I am beautiful. I am beautiful because I am happy. I danced with abandon in a circle of my dearest friends and in the moment, watching my darling Ashley Crosby become Mrs. Langton, I could be nothing but beautifully and blissfully happy (if not a tad sweaty and overstressed).
This photo is my favorite:
My beloved Mikael and I are dancing our way into the reception. I am free in this picture. I am not worried about a thing. I got to enter a room dancing with my Mikael, who could ask for anything more?
All this to say. I have failed the losing weight part of this journey, but piece by piece I am learning to put together the bigger picture, because the ability to dance your way through life does not have a weight limit. Please remember that.
Farewell for now my loves, Your Friend Rachell