I’m still here.
Sometimes life starts to get busy and it is hard to find the time to write. Sometimes I think I just tell myself that I am too busy because I don’t want to have to write and tell the world that I have still not had an intentional work out session since my wedding, save for once or twice. I got a job at a restaurant which often involves walking over ten thousand steps a shift, does that count. I like to tell myself it counts.
I’m in a bit of a strange place as I am still looking for other work (in case you are wondering being a host at a restaurant does not quite pay the bills), but I am at a bit of a loss for what I want to do, and sometimes it can feel rather daunting. But I have found that whenever I start to think that way it has been helpful to remember this small anecdote.
It was my first day at the restaurant and I was being trained…by a seventeen year old. I was feeling pretty fully like a a failure. But alas we finally came to break time and started chatting in the break room. As we talked it came up that I had recently gotten married and I had lived in New York for a few years and I had crazy nannying adventures, and then she said that I had her dream life. And I did fully realize then, that while I am slightly lost career wise, and I work as a host in a restaurant and I haven’t been succeeding in this project for for the last two months, I do have a dream life. I have been afforded so many opportunities and had so many adventures and experiences. I have a circle of wonderful, dear friends who I get to see and talk to regularly. I have the most amazing, supportive, handsome husband. I have so many of the things I always wished I would.
So even as I continue to search for motivation, and work, and direction I will try to remember I already have a dream life just as it stands right now.