I am a Loser

I am a loser. I have been for a week and a half now. I get out of bed in the morning. I go to the bathroom. I go back to bed for ten minutes. I get back up.  I weigh myself and…. I am down three pounds! I have lost three pounds this week!

I am a loser. I got back to Weight Watchers this week. I tracked all of my eating. I attended all of my meetings, I am back at it — full steam ahead, and I am loving it. I feel so much better eating healthy than eating crap — I don’t understand why I can’t remember that.

At Weight Watchers, our instructor Carol (not her real name, but she looks like Carol Burnett and she’s just as awesome, so it’s a fitting code name) sends us out the door by saying, “go be losers in a very positive way and I look forward to seeing less of you next week.” I know its silly, but I love it. In the words of Kate Winslet in The Holiday, “I’m looking for corny in my life.” So I feel empowered in humor walking out determined to be a loser. And this week I was.

Another lovely thing that happened this week was quite unexpected.

If you recall, a while back I made a list of goals/rewards for myself. The first one was a set of beautiful measuring cups from Anthropologie that I could use to measure all of my food portions (in the hopes that the pretty pattern would distracted me from the fact that one portion of ice cream is a 1/2 a cup. *stuff’n’nonsense*). Well, even though I hit that goal, I couldn’t afford the reward at the time, so I skipped over it. Yet, I still dreamed of those measuring cups, wishing they could be there for my morose ice cream servings… enter Mark Kopitzke.

Mark and I have been friends for nine years. He is one of my dearest confidants…

Here’s Mark and me in a play together senior year of college:


[Yes, that is me with the red hair]. He choked on that orange juice during a performance once. It was simultaneously hilarious and one of the most terrifying moments of my life (because I could have broken character. There was unfortunately no concern for Mark in that moment).

He’s also an amazing singer, check him out – Mark Kopitzke:

Yesterday, Mark and I were hanging out when he presented me with a surprise present…MY MEASURING CUPS!!!


My mom had bought me the spoons and I found the spoon rest at Home Goods for $3.99, so now my set is complete! Mark is fantastic and I am delighted to be his friend (and not just because he bought me measuring cups from Anthropologie).

The thing about going on a journey like this (or truly any journey that you’re vulnerable enough to ask for help) you find partners in the unlikeliest of places. I would never have dreamed that a group of mostly strangers would sponsor me in a half-marathon. I would have never suspected that people I haven’t seen in fifteen years would be reading my blog (Hi Mrs. Fetterly!). And even though Mark is my artistic partner and has been for years, I was deeply touched and honored to have him be an ally on this mission. So thank you all. I am overwhelmed and grateful. Thank you for making me a loser, I’m excited to be one.

Weight: 204lbs! I’m headed back down to new weight-loss territory!  How do you feel?: Wonderful! I feel like I learned the stuff I needed to learn about myself pre-weight loss and now I’m ready to dig in for real (ya know, in the convenient time right before Christmas) Small Victory: I went to my favorite ice cream place and wanted to get 2 scoops and only got one. I ALSO went to Disneyland and stayed within my daily Weight Watcher’s “points” allotment. AND I had a terribly horrible agonizing period (sorry, over share) and I ate whatever I wanted (including a forth of a gallon of Rocky Road ice cream) BUT I calculated it all, counted all the points and deducted it from my weekly. I am supposed to only eat 30 points a day. That day I ate 85 points… but I immediately went back on the plan the next day and didn’t look back. I did not regret it. I needed it that day and then I pressed forward.  Biggest Disappointment: My foot is still killing me Thing I appreciated about my body this week:  I am an excellent problem solver — quick on my feet. I started substitute teaching, and I have had to come up with lesson plans and classroom management methods on the spot. It’s an adventure! Reasons I am #embraceablenow: Because I am a loser.

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