Starting Over

There are few things in life harder than starting over. Starting from the bottom, from zero, and having to work your way back up.

Last year when we began this blog, it was one of the harder things I have done. I truthfully didn’t believe I would be successful in accomplishing anything, but I hoped at least there would be a record of the struggle so that other people wouldn’t feel alone. I had high hopes for the project,but not a lot of faith. I knew myself. I knew what it was like every other time I tried to lose weight. It just seemed unlikely.

Well, now I can say there is definitely a record of the struggle (was every post I wrote about hating to work out? Probably), but more than that I succeeded! Over the last year I have lost 40 pounds.  It is not all the weight I wanted to lose, but I have to remember that 40 pounds is a huge accomplishment.  If I heard anyone else say they had lost 40 pounds I would be amazed! Losing 40 pounds is so.much. work. So many sore muscles and so many passed over doughnuts. And I am proud of it.

But then on the other hand…I lost about 36 of those pounds before my wedding last July. Which means that in the last 6 months I have only lost about 4 pounds. After the wedding we went on an amazing honeymoon where I had planned to just relax and not worry about food and working out, and I still think that was great. However the trouble was I could not start again when we got back.  When I think that if I had kept with it I could have lost all the weight I had wanted to in the beginning I sometimes feel a little disappointed in myself, but at least I didn’t gain the weight back.

Why is it that in eating right and working out taking one day off makes it always feel like starting over? No matter how long you have kept it up before that day, the one day off seems to take everything to reset! I have been struggling to start over for the last 6 months! Finally, FINALLY, in the last two weeks I have begun working out again and I am starting to feel rededicated. I am trying to do the work of starting over.

While you can bet I will be struggling and sweating throughout the rest of my life probably, this will be my last regular blog post on the Embraceable Project. I am so thankful for all the support and readership I have found here, and thankful for the accountability of knowing I would have to confess my shortcomings, but for now I am out of words on the subject. I have learned so much through this process about who I am and what I can accomplish and I hope my journey has inspired you to believe you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to as well.  I used to always read peoples’ weight loss stories and think, “That could never be me.” But it CAN. It can be you. It seems crazy, but it can. It can. And it is worth it.

P.s. I am so excited to continue reading Rachell’s journey here and being inspired by her as usual! Take it away Rach!



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