Since our Ashley left us last week, I thought I’d take a moment to let you know what’s next. Here’s what I’m planning to do in this next chapter of Embraceable. Here is my new commitment to Embraceable, to you, and to myself.
First: I am continuing on with Weight Watchers. I’ve learned a lot from their program, and I am enjoying their support. If any of you would like to join, please use my name as a reference. Any weight documentation you see here will no longer be my at-home weigh-ins, but my WW weigh-ins. Also any reference to “Carol,” is my amazing Weight Watchers leader who reminds me of Carol Burnett. It is not her real name.
Second: I am going to switch photo shoots from once a month, to every ten pounds lost. That way I get to document my journey, as this blog intended, BUT get to use the photo shoots as a reward/motivation. Breaking it down into ten pound increments allows it to feel smaller as well. Each photo shoot will be slightly more elaborate, as I am doing them less frequently and as a reward to myself. This next theme is going to be EPIC. I threw away a slice of cake today when I remembered it was my goal. I threw away FROSTING (my favorite thing). It’s going to be frosting-tossing epic… be prepared.
Third: I am going to have grace with myself and allow myself to go slowly. Over the past year, I have learned something very important. Around the first week in December, I was depressed thinking I had “only lost five pounds” in this year of “getting healthy.” I couldn’t believe that while Ashley lost forty pounds, I’d lost four. She literally lost ten times more weight than I did. So, I went into the holidays feeling fairly defeated. That is until I thought about where I was last Christmas, and the Christmas before, and the Christmas before that.
You see, I have gained 10-20lbs a year since I was eighteen, most of that weight was gained around the holidays. This year, I did not gain my customary 12lbs, I lost 5lbs. I lost 5lbs between Thanksgiving and New Years. So really, I did not merely lost 5lbs this year, I lost 25lbs — the 20lbs I would have gained and the 5lbs that I’d lost. With the help of Embraceable, I learned to be comfortable in my own skin and change my relationship with food. THAT was a major accomplishment. I may not have shed pounds, but I shed my inhibitions. I learned how to feel beautiful in front of a camera. I ran a half-marathon. I went clubbing. I took spontaneous adventures. I went on dates. I danced at my best friend’s wedding. I think for any true change in my weight to occur I needed to learn who I really was. I needed to find my True North, just as I am, so that as my body changes I do not lose my direction. I had to learn that I am #embraceablenow.
Weight: Probably 204.8. How do you feel?: Excited and scared Small Victory: I threw away my favorite part of my favorite cake Biggest Disappointment: I didn’t exercise at all this week because my foot and hip have been killing me post-marathon. Thing I appreciated about my body this week: My skin. I have nice skin Reason Why I Am #embraceablenow: Because I am.