Search Your Feelings, Luke

I watch too much television. This started in 2011 when I got pink-eye and strep throat in the same two weeks and couldn’t get out of bed. I watched all of the then five seasons of The Big Bang Theory and nine seasons of what is now the original Will and Grace. This habit worsened however (yes worsened) in graduate school when I lived alone while getting my MFA in creative writing and could justify watching eighteen hours straight of Grey’s Anatomy because it was “homework” (I had only been assigned the Pilot). I used to watch everything all the time because I was a writer and if you wanted to keep up with the times you had to know the times to keep up with. So I watched. I watched. And I watched…

Now it is my emotional bandaid. Why think when you can stare at Derek Shepard’s hair?… but you know what the problem with “not thinking” is?… Eventually you have to take a shower.

Although I have tried to rig my iPad so I can watch TV in the shower, I have not yet succeeded, so all of my thoughts — the good, the bad, and the hopeless, come crashing down upon me. Escapism is good for a time, not fourteen seasons.

Somehow I have to figure out how to start feeling my feelings instead of eating and watching them. But oh, cheese enchilladas are great at silencing doubt… and why think about my problems when Meredith and Derek’s are far more fascinating? But we have to figure something out.

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